"We praise people for being “naturally” smart, too, “naturally” athletic, and etc. But studies continue to show, as they have for some time now, that it is generally healthier to praise schoolchildren for being hardworking, than for being naturally gifted. We know now that to emphasize a child’s inherent ability places pressure on that child to continue to be accidentally talented, which is something that is hard for anyone to control. When the children who are applauded for their natural skills fail, they are shown to take the failure very personally. After all, the process of their success has always seemed mysterious and basic and inseparable from the rest of their identity, so it must be they who are failing as whole people. When students are instead complimented and rewarded for their effort and improvement, they tend to not be so hard on themselves. When they fail, they reason, “Well, I’ll work harder next time.” They learn that they are capable of success, rather than constantly automatically deserving of it, and they learn simultaneously that they are bigger and more complex than their individual successes or failures."
Kate of Eat the Damn Cake, The Stupidity of “Natural” Beauty (x)
This seriously makes such a big difference in helping kids who are struggling with school. They often call themselves stupid, but you tell them it isn’t about stupid, it’s about hard work. Because even though plenty of kids will say they are stupid, I don’t hear many say they are lazy. Why? Lazy you can control. Stupid you just give up on. Nope. Never.
so like a buncha shit is going down in my house with family and idk if I should be sad, depressed, angry or concerned. what I am is utterly distracted to the point of dysfunction and unable to focus and mainly I think I’m really angry and pissed off. I can’t decide if I want to break shit or crawl up into my own head and not come back out for a while.